Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

by Matthew Quick

ISBN: 9780316221337
Publisher: Little Brown Books for Young Readers
Publication Date: August 13th 2013
Number of Pages: 273
Source: Local Library

Goodreads Summary: In addition to the P-38, there are four gifts, one for each of my friends. I want to say good-bye to them properly. I want to give them each something to remember me by. To let them know I really cared about them and I'm sorry I couldn't be more than I was—that I couldn't stick around—and that what's going to happen today isn't their fault.

Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. It is also the day he hides a gun in his backpack. Because today is the day he will kill his former best friend, and then himself, with his grandfather's P-38 pistol.

But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart-obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school's class on the Holocaust. Speaking to each in turn, Leonard slowly reveals his secrets as the hours tick by and the moment of truth approaches.

My Rating:  

First off, this book is not for the younger, not as mature, teenager. This book deals with some heavy & serious issues and the tone of this book is over-all depressing.

That being said, I do think this book makes you think. You have a very troubled kid, who on his 18th birthday, decides to kill Asher (his former best friend who influenced Leonard's life in the worst way possible) and then himself. 

The summary given tells us that he first has 4 gifts to deliver to "the four people who matter most to him." I agree with 3 out of the 4 in regards to being important to him. The odd-ball is Lauren. To me, I don't really think she mattered that much to him as a person - it was more the idea of her.            

"I'm kind of confused too, because I'm not attracted to Lauren at all anymore and the kiss was a spectacular failure...There's a part of me that still wants to believe the kissing was wonderful. Black-and-white Bogie-Bacall perfect. Even though it wasn't." - Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, 168-169

His relationship with Walt (the old guy next door) seems to be the only true friendship Leonard has in his life. Baback thinks he is too weird to be a friend and developing a close friendship with a teacher (Herr Silverman) isn't exactly appropriate. Don't have much to say regarding Baback, though I do think his music is one of few things that made Leonard happy. With Herr Silverman, he truly is a passionate teacher who has faith in his students and truly wants them to learn. His unconventional teaching style and the way he greets and says goodbye to each student really shows that he cares. What a wonderful role model for Leonard and after his heart-to-heart with him down by the river, he shows Leonard that life after high school can get better. His story really touched my heart.

"I think about how Herr Silverman is the only person in my life who doesn't bullshit me, and is maybe the only one at my school who really cares whether I disappear or stick around. 'The government should give you a medal for being a good teacher, Herr Silverman. I'm serious about that. They really should.'"- Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, 120

As for the character of Leonard, many point out that he is stuck up and a hypocrite and that his character isn't realistic. I would disagree with the last two points. I do agree he is stuck up and thinks himself better than anyone else. In a way, he is, in his own unique way. He is a genius and questions the world around him. He thinks of society and people as being zombies or sheep, just going through the motions of life. I can see that. Now the following is going to be a super long quote but I feel that it represents this book and really is a legitimate question that we must ask ourselves:

"Because you start a revolution one decision at a time, with each breath you take. Just don't go back to that miserable place you go every day. Show me it's possible to be an adult and also be happy. Please. This is a free country. You don't have to keep doing this if you don't want to. You can do anything you want to." - Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, 46

and

"— if it doesn't get any better, I need to know right now. Just tell me. Spare me from some awful [profanity] fate. Please." - Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, 47

 Leonard is practically begging the world to give him an excuse to continue his life; this life that he feels is miserable and useless if in the end, he still ends up unhappy.

One way that Quick tries to give the reader hope (and Leonard trying to give himself hope) is the letters from the future. We find out at the end of the book the true source of these letters and the book ends ambiguously with one of these letters.

There are so many things that go wrong in Leonard's life (Asher, his awful absent parents, teachers and authority figures that don't take him seriously, and failed friendships). People don't believe these are legit reasons for wanting to kill yourself and to murder someone. That these are all just excuses. I wonder if they have ever had a period in their life where they felt completely helpless, angry and depressed. It probably doesn't excuse such actions. But I think we need to be aware of the warning signs and the reasoning behind those atrocious acts. We end up with tragedies when we can't recognize this and find help for these troubled individuals.

I think this book is trying to give insight to these minds and help us understand so that we can be more like Herr Silverman and perhaps save a life.

Recommended for: guys (since it's told from a guy's POV), more mature audiences (due to content and the age of the main character), those that liked Jay Asher's Thirteen Reasons Why (dealing with subject of suicide), and teachers (to give them insight into some of their more troubled students)